As I lay here tho, I wonder where I'm gonna be 5 yrs from now because 5 yrs ago I would of never pictured myself married, living in Florida with a beautiful son. Life is crazy! Life is so crazy that if I think about it too much I really believe that I could literally drive myself crazy. So I try not to think about it much.
However, I'd like to share some of me with you. I personally think that I am an extremely unique person and maybe it's because of the things I've been thru, or it could just be that I was born this way. As the years pass, I realize my personality changing, my taste in everything changing, my intelligence changing, everything changing pretty much. And I wonder if I would be who I am today had one thing been different in my life. Like in the movie "Sliding Doors", where Gwenyth Paltrow misses a train and they show you what her life is like had she taken the train or if she would of missed it. Where would I be had I never moved to Florida back in '04? Had my mom never passed away? Had I never dropped out of school? I can only wonder tho.
Here's a time line of this somewhat crazy life of mine starting with High School(because my life was pretty normal before H.S.)
Sept. 1997-freshman @ catholic high school Aquinas.
-had sex with a girl
Oct. 1999- no longer a virgin
Nov. 1999-fell in love with Bubu
June 2000-kicked out of Aquinas on the last day of my junior year, right before the bell rung when I would be considered a senior.
Sept. 2000-Senior at Wahington Irving High School. This was one of the best times of my life. After leaving that all girls high school Aquinas, I attended Irving, a public school, a co-ed public school! It was like walking into the movie "Kids". All I did was hang out with the super cool crowd, started smoking cigs, cut school to have Freaky Friday parties @ my bff's house, got drunk for the first time, got high for the first time, triple kissed, pretty much experimented with my sexuality and everything else. I had a fucking blast!!!!
April 2001-got my heart broken into a million pieces.
June 2001-I'm suppose to graduate, instead I got kicked out of Irving. At this point I'm rebelling against my parents, I really don't get along with my dad, my mother and I are always arguing. My sister has her own crew which I always envied. It was just a mess at my house. Outside of my house I seemed like the happiest most care free person, but I hated going home. My parents were very strict.
July 2001-I'm 18
Aug. 2001-my mother finds out she has Colon cancer. They give her 6months-2yrs. I had just turned 18 and there wasn't anyone that could tell me anything bc I was "grown" now. I had a boyfriend named Freddy, he was 23 and had his own place, I was infatuated.
Sept. 2001-I started at a new school, West Side High School. What would my life be had I never attended this school. During my short time at West Side I tattooed Freddy's name on my lower abdomen. 9/11 happened, Freddy lost his job due to it and started hustling. Things weren't the same btwn us after that. He went to DR on vacation. While in DR, I was still attending West Side with a close friend of mine from Irving, Katie. She told me one day that a girl like me. That's when I met Joniece(Joe). From the second I met her I knew I liked her. We hung out and eventually slept together. Eventually Freddy and I broke up and Joniece and I saw more of each other.
Jan. 2002-Joniece and I make it official.
-My dad catches me making out with Joniece infront of my building. I begged him not to tell my mother but he did anyway and that night was horrible. We all got into a huge argument where my parents called me all types of names from a whore, slut, bitch, lesbo, I mean I heard it all that night. Joniece had a car and so getting around what easy. I ended up sleeping over her house alot and breaking my parents rules, which ofcourse one of them were, no sleeping over. I remember one night my dad said, "u spend so much time with her, why don't u just move out!" That same night I took a couple pillow cases, filled them with clothes and wrote my parents a letter telling them that I was moving out. Joe picked me up and I never slept at my parents house ever again. I stayed with Joe at her grandmas house in the BX. My father didn't speak to me for 9 months.
After I moved out, my life is pretty much a blurr from then to now. I rememer my mother always asking me to sleep over and spend the night, I never did. Although I knew she had cancer and knew the time she was given to live, I NEVER thought i would see my own mother die one day, let alone it being so soon.
Summer of 2002 - My sister and I almost drown at Atlantic City, lifeguards came to save us both.
Nov. 2002 - I start working for Sephora in Soho, my first makeup job. I always loved makeup but never knew that I would fall in love with it and I also didn't know I was naturally given the talent of making women beautiful. By this time Joe and I had our own place (a co-op her mom owned).
Jan. 1, 2003 - Minnie Me is born, my doggie. A Maltese/poodle.
April 5, 2003 - it was around 2:30am when I got the phone call from my dad that my mom died. She was in hospice at her apt so she died at home in the room where I would later have my son. I remember bits and pieces of that night and the day before, I had gotten a call at work that the hospice nurse came by the apt and told my dad and cousins that my mom has less than 2 days to live. I could go on with more details but really, I don't want to.
My mothers death didn't hit me till probably a month or so later. Calling her apt and her not picking up hit me hard. Ok I'll leave it there because the more I think about that period in my life, the more remorse and regret I have.
Nov. 2003 - Joe and I moved to Pennsylvania with her aunt Sophie. Sophie was the best and was somewhat of a motherfigure to me. We worked ay a ski resort.
Feb. 2004 - Joe and I take a road trip with 2 of her aunts to Florida. One of her aunts, Valerie had gotten a job offer in Florida at a mortgage company and we accompanied her on this road trip in hopes to find an apartment for her. We did. We also somehow manage to find me a job down there. Joe and I decided to take the offer and move on down to the sunshine state with her aunt. We shared an apt with Valerie and Valerie and I worked in the same place.
June 2004 - I lost my job bc I refused to flirt back with the guy that hired me. I made a scene at that job and got threatned to have the cops escort me out. I hated Florida! So the day before my 21st bday we decided to move back to NY.
Oct. 23, 2004 - Joniece breaks up with me out of the blue. No argument, no warning, just a simple "I don't want to be with you anymore." It hurt! It hurt bad! I had to leave her fathers house and move back to my dads, the apartment where my mom lived. When I left it was us 4(my mom, my dad, my sis and myself). I didn't know what it would be like to go back. I called Sophie and told her that her neice left me and she booked me a flight to Florida for that wknd to get away. While in Florida I end up getting a job with the same company that fired me earlier in the year. It seems the owner of the company got in to it with the ass that harrassed me and he fired him. So I went back to NY, tried to get back with Joe but she wasn't having it. I packe my shit and took me and my dog to Florida. I was alone, wasn't working bc the job offer fell thru when the owner found out I had threatned to sue the comapny back when they fired me. I didn't have a car, no friends and cried myself to sleep every night bc I was heart broken.
At this time also I experimented with drugs, acid, angel dust, special k, G, E.
Jan. 2005 - I met Ariel. He was like no other guy I had ever met.
April 3, 2005 - Ariel and I make it official.
Sept. 2005 - Ariel and I take a trip to NY. He asks my dad for my hand in marriage.
Nov. 5, 2005 - Ariel and I tie the knot and move in together(at his parents)
Mar. 25, 2006 - My wedding day and also one of the best wknd's of my life.
June 2006 - I leave my husband and moved out an hour away from him. Marriage hit me hard and I wasn't ready.
Sept. 2006 - Ariel and I work things out and I moved back. I left him once and I'll never leave him again. He is the love of my life and I will always be here for him.
Dec. 2007 - Moved to NY with hubby. We moved to my moms old apt with my sister and her boyfriend. It was cool but I knew my sisters boyfriend was not good for her, I thought maybe she would see how Ariel and I treat eachother and maybe she'd want something like that and leave her boyfriend.
May 7, 2008 - I find out I'm pregnant.
June 2008 - My sisters boyfriend gets locked up and is set to serve 4 years.
July 1st, 2008 - I turn 25.
Dec. 31, 2008 - Aiden Link Ramirez is born. 19 inches long, weighing 7lbs. 7oz.
Feb. 2009 - We get evicted from Apartment A but we went to court and won the case.
May 10, 2009 - Ariel and I take a trip with Aiden to Florida to surprise his mother with her new grandson.
May 12, 2009 - Apartment A gets raided. My sister was there. Ariel and I take this as a sign to move out and move to Florida.
July 1, 2009 - I turn 26 and lost my dog Minnie Me, he was exactly 6yrs and 6months old, to the day.
July 4, 2009 - Ariel, my sister and I move to Florida.
And here I am. Lisa ended up going back to NY to "visit". She has yet to return. Ariel and I finally have our own place, I absolutely love it.
Looking back at my life I do wish I had done alot of things different. I always use to say I have no regrets but I'd be lying if I still said that. I do love my life tho. It's been a good interesting life. I wonder what tomorrow has in store for me and where I'm going to be 5 years from now and 10 years from now for that matter. Regardless where ever I am I know that I will always have two boys in my life that will always love me and vice versa. And that is more than I could ever ask for.